I've Seen Better Days...

England's Middle Ages will have to wait for a bit. Instead, through this blog post (in particular) let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we; more specifically...let's get to know a bit of the old "me"...

Well, I wanted to call this post something like "The Ten Confessions" so that it gave the feel of "The Ten Commandments" when read, but because the title sounded rather absurd, I scrapped it and instead chose the title of another track I am quite fond of.

Also, every month, at least
one blog post will be titled as a song I really like...(and I shall leave this sentence at that, because I cannot think of anything else to say beyond it!)

Right, let's get it started (HA!) then, shall we (a courteous nod towards Tee)...

Obviously, these are in no particular order...and there shall still be only 10 of them...

1. What am I? Nuts?!

I have hacked into WY's hotmail account, by the simple means of answering his personal question - it took me a while to figure it out, but I did figure it out eventually, and the question, as the heading suggests, was indeed "What am I?"

'Twas simple, really...

Oh, and following that, I also told him that someone hacked my account (I lied, duh!) and that later when I was able to access it, I got an email from you (WY, as in) fessing to be the hacker...

Pure evil, I

2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I know you probably couldn't care less - but...Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was actually the first Harry Potter book I bought, and that too before I had read any of them...

The reason was extremely simple: I liked the red and blue cover with Harry on the broomstick, arm outstretched for the golden egg, with a fire-breating dragon on his tail. And the first thing I did after I got back from the bookstore, was open it and flip through it, taking in the aroma that the pages gave off when flipped in quick succession.

Sad, I know!

3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at Waterstone's, today

Okay, so I landed up in front of it at the bookstore, today. And...ahem, I flipped through it once again, smelling the pages. And then I burst into laughter at the nostalgia that was sort of catapulted inside my head.

I was extremely fussy about the book, and I remember telling my best mate at school to read it in such a way so that the book's side (where the pages are stuck and bound together) does not get any creases on it. I laughed at the re-visit to that moment in time, and the one immediately after that, when my mate found it extremely difficult to read it in that state...in fact, it was so tiring that he gave up in the end.

The book now rests with Mooman, safely. That was the last I saw of it. And no, I did buy a new copy when I came to England, but I haven't had the time to read it. Sad? Yeah, I guess...

4. The Sims

Well, as far as this one goes, I think I was quite clever to have come up with it on my own. You see, when you are little, kissing scenes in movies are a big taboo (in front of your parents), especially if you're Asian. And well, a few English films were littered with them. I always wondered what the whole fuss was about, honestly...I mean, all they are actually doing is biting each other, in a nice way of course...

And along came The Sims. Please tell me at least one of you lot has played it when s/he was little? Anyway, the game involved development of relationships between human beings
(at times, the same sex ones as well), and when the man and the woman would kiss very passionately (so that there would be a lot of hearts hovering over their heads), they would have a baby...

While I thought the woman kissing the woman was actually some stupid glitch that the game's developers hadn't corrected, it made quite sense to believe that when a guy kisses a woman, they have a baby.

And following that, I came up with all these bizarre notions, about the transfer of saliva in a certain way to guarantee the baby...insane, I tell you! But hey, I was eight or nine then, or may be even ten...I was expected to not

5. Stumped, Bowled and...Whatever!

I went through a phase where I just loved cricket. And I mean I LOVED it. I was actually quite good, too! In fact, all day, all night I'd fantasise about playing for the Pakistan Cricket Team, and make up these encounters with players of the team, where occasionally I'd end up teaching the players English.

But no, seriously! I'd tell everyone that I am Pakistan's future "match-winner" and my cousin promised to hook me up with the man in charge at the time (I fail to recall his name). Anyways, this was a relatively short phase of my life, and I grew out of it pretty soon. In fact, later I wasn't even fussed with playing it anymore.

6. King Khan

I was extremely young when I did this; we had just got the Internet at home, and I was instantly hooked. Around that time, I had discovered that Shahrukh Khan didn't really believe much in Islam and was very broad-minded to the learning of other religious phenomenon. Well, somehow, I managed to find his email address (I don't think it was his email address, after all, now that I come to think of it), and decided to go on a preaching mission of my own. I ensured everyone was asleep first, then I got down to business. I wrote a massive email to him telling him about how much I loved his work and blah, and that I really thought he must never forget to pray five times a day, as they are very important, especially if he wanted God to make him even more successful.

Unfortunately, even after hitting the "send" button, the email failed to be sent. And I had no idea; pleased with what I had done, I logged off, only to later find my Dad come across it in the outbox folder.

And I guess, he laughed at it more than I am right now. The thought of an eight year old doing some Islamic preaching to one of the world's biggest celebrities is worth a smile or two anytime, don't you think?

7. King Khan, Part Two

Oh and I thought I'd end up being his personal assistant, who'd bring him back on the straight path. I even imagined myself in a row with his Hindu wife and convincing him to go on Hajj.

8. The Ugly Barbie

When I was four, or may be five, I threw a tantrum to buy the same thing as my sister. She had bought a Barbie, which was expensive. Not to mention she was extremely hot, even by doll standards. Anyways, my tantrum was so fierce that my Dad was forced to give in and buy me a Barbie, too. However, he knew I'd grow out of it (or perhaps he hoped I would) and so he bought me a cheaper one.

And boy was she ugly. In fact, I found her so revolting that whenever my sister and I would play with them, I'd end up killing her, just to get rid of her (or colour washable paint on her face, or even add some playdo to show she has suffered an accident)

Sadly, yes, I did own a Barbie (and I am also ready to wage a war against anyone who wishes to be a dick about it).

9. Once upon a time...

There was a girl who developed a secret crush on me, whilst sharing some bus space. But because she was shy about it, she told her friend, instead, to check me out. I don't know how they ended up with my email address, but well, her friend added me up.

I asked her who she was, and why she added me. Normal question.

She replied she found me through some
random shit which I don't remember anymore.

I obviously caught that lie. So, I decided to add a few of my own. She asked me to tell a bit about myself. And boy did I tell her, or what?! I was living in London and I had friends named Harry, Hasan and a few more that I had invented at the spot.

My lies got bigger and better each email. In the end, she stopped buying it. She told me I was a liar. I said so was she.

The End...nothing fancy here...although, I may add, my lies were quite inventive, so what if they were off track a few years...

10. The Lego Stealer

Yes, stealer is right; I stole Lego from preschool and...well, I was in preschool - how old did you expect me to be?

I remember Jason and I planned the whole thing quite successfully. He chickened out at the last moment, while I obviously didn't. In fact, I even brought them home to play with. And I didn't really plan on returning them. Well, only if my sisters hadn't figured out there were new pieces in my Lego, I didn't.

So, they caught me using this brilliant new piece I wasn't technically supposed to have. Oh, horrible grown-ups. Joy killers. They have to remember everything! Those were probably the precise thoughts that ran through my head at the time, as I had to come up with an excuse to hide my stealth.

Well, I said the teacher let us borrow them for a day. I don't think they bought it very much, but they didn't push the subject, either. Nevertheless, they did make sure I took the pieces with me before I left, the next day.

Oh and Miss Sally didn't notice a thing. At least I fooled one of them, didn't I?

Well, there you have it, ten perfectly riveting insights into my life...


    Oh I am definitely gonna read this again when I come back! :P

  2. :P yeah read it and spread the word... :P