I Forgot To Remember To Forget

I remember the day I walked at your threshold.

How I said what I had been told to.

That fleeting glimpse. That brief meeting.

I knew I didn't mean any of it.

It was all hollow...

I had thought it wouldn't last very long.

A day, or two, or may be three, if you were lucky. But I thought it wouldn't last that long.

I made grace. I did a prayer. To not make me have it forever.

Then winter came, and I knew it was going to be long.

Something made me stay, and I know it wasn't you...

That one cold night when we sat and talked.

I thought I had it all figured. You and I.

It got warmer, on the inside. It started to feel better.

The summer followed, and so did another winter. With short spasms of autumn and spring.

We talked. And talked. And talked.

You said. And I said. And we both said how it made sense...

Years went by.

And we were right...

Until that day, we realised it was a dream.

A fantasy. No more than a facet.

I saw your eyes turn away. I watched your tongue give away lies. I sat as your mind played its games.

And I wished we hadn't spent all those days.

Now we both pick up pieces of a wounded us.

With injuries so sharp. And marks so permanent.

The goodbyes so numb. Almost as if a relief.

And then I lie here.

Trying to forget...

The day I walked at your threshold.

How I said what I had been told to.

That fleeting glimpse. That brief greeting.

Wondering, what if it hadn't gone on for too long...

Wondering, what if it really hadn't been too long...