Retrospect For Life

Unfortunately, Boots was correct; it actually was a temporary passing phase, the writer's block, I mean.

All it took was a long walk to and from Tesco's, a dose of spanking crisp sunshine and some time to think things over.

Before I draw on some conclusions and trace out the source to the emptiness that has swallowed me on the inside, let me
re-introduce you to the trend that I started back in Symphony - blog titles named after actual songs. It originally started off as a coincidence. Then, I got fond of the idea, and so, here it is again, only to add to the current flavours of the blog.

Anyways, then, let's move on.

It only dawned upon me, during my walk, that I, in a matter of months, shall be embracing (fully) adulthood and leaving behind my long and memorable childhood. That successively means more responsibility, more maturity, thinking seriously, the like. In short, it means, being very boring and leading a calculated remainder of your life.

I realised, how I could no longer turn things around, and become a child again, who needed to be looked after, sought after, and allowed to be shirked from duties of all sorts. I soon was going to step in as the
man of the house - the ultimate bread-winner for the family.

And that prospect, was daunting in its rightful nature.

I looked around myself; at my surroundings; at the people; at the children; at their parents. Enjoying a beautiful Saturday afternoon doing something "family" special. I tried to decipher the work roles of all the respective Mums and Dads I passed along the way, and wondered to myself, if I ever will land myself in a job I adore. I dream of.

Especially in times of this crisis.

V's voice sounded somewhere at the back of my head. How she told me not to worry and that I still had my postgraduate to look forward to, after which I had all the time in the world to fuss myself about getting a full-paid job.

My mind immediately, then, wandered off back to
Nadia Khan's show, who was discussing recession that same morning. It wasn't a live show and was a re-run; but the people who called and shared their worse experiences in Dubai as it got engulfed by the crisis, gave me shudders and goosebumps. People losing their jobs, without a prior legal due course, after having served in those roles for about a decade and a half.

All that life. Everything you had saved. Whoosh - all gone!

I couldn't help but feel sad at my graduation coinciding with the worst financial crisis to have hit the globe in a century. What's worse, I was frightened more than anything to think about the future. To propel myself two years in time to see where will I be. Doing what. And thinking to myself, if I will ever be happy doing it.

And at that point, I was scared. I didn't want to graduate, just yet. I didn't want to turn into a grown up. I just wanted to be a student, forever. To be looked after, forever.


But then, I thought to myself: life won't be stopping anytime soon, simply because I want it to freeze at this point in time. It will trundle on, one way or another, whether I like it or hate it.

And the only thing I could do, was anticipate. In vain. In hope. In curiosity.

Oh, and of course, wait.

Wait and watch as it all unfolds.

As they say: "
Everything comes to those who hustle while they wait."


  1. :)
    Man, don't you worry, I can treat you like a baby, just command and I'm there.

  2. This certainly does give a clear picture. And the creeps...

    Nadia Khan! Lmao! You're still not over that show yet?

    Why is it unfortunate that Boots was correct?

  3. the best part about aging is that in some aspects you dont really age at all. your mum and sisters will always look at you as the baby. your friends will always make you feel tons younger. it is a terrifying thing, looking into what could most definitely be the most unpredictable moment of your life. but there are loads of people around you ready to pick you up everytime you fall.

    on a less serious note, this blog should have been called 'Sentimental' (song my porcupine tree). the lyrics fit this blog very much!

  4. aww thanks boots! that makes me feel tonnes better! :)

    the reason I came up with retrospect, because that's the opposite of prospect = something to do with the future...

    though I like yours too!!

  5. then it also has to it a feel of enjoying your life and not wanting it to move on, but when it does, you look back and cherish the moments! :D